A lot of people are afraid of growing old but I love it! Maybe I will regret saying this but I never ever want to be a teenager again.
The confusion, the depression, the erratic emotions, the mean jokes, the low self-esteem; no never!
I am happy being 20-something! Yes, coming from a woman who is only a few years shy of the big three O, it might sound strange but God I am in love with the older me!
So why do I really like being older? With age comes wisdom and for most us confidence. Then you find out that the world won’t collapse without you or God forbid if you made a mistake!
As a first-born child, you have no luxury of feeling bad about things. You are too busy being responsible. You have no right to want things but rather be grateful for what you have.
We are subtly taught that to want is to court disappointment. We forget that wanting is what makes the world go forward. Wanting is what creates change. From wanting comes getting. We must want to live to live.
So why afraid to want! – Because with wanting also comes heart breaks, mistakes, disappointment and rejection all too unsavoury emotions. Emotions that you are better off without.
This fear feeds our generation’s pandemic mediocrity; breeding people who ‘arrive too soon’, celebrating below par effort. We are without ambition or goals, retarded by fear of reaching out into the unknown.
The world is a big place. Why have we allowed ourselves to stay rooted to one place; deceived by time, rushing from one meaningless thing to another. Pursuing someone else’s dreams; living other people’s lives but ours.
Then, I was taught what is beautiful. Understandably, society is obsessed with beauty. Constantly coming up with different ways to measure it, to contain it; we want to be authorities on what is beautiful and so on.
As an artist I find this a little frustrating because it messes with my mind. To me beauty is constantly evolving. It cannot be contained. Every day I see us struggling to fit this very narrow bracket losing our beautiful selves in the process.
It is a daily battle with nature. The pimples, the ample flesh, the complexion, the hair, the nails…OMG! Being beautiful is so tiresome!
So is it any easier now that I am older? No but now I know better. I know that if one thinks you are worth it, they will stick around. I know how to choose things which are good for me; to enjoy my own company and demand the best. I know that it does takes two to tangle if we are all going to get any orgasms!
Growing up came with knowing I don’t owe anybody anything. I don’t owe it to that guy to sleep with him after a date. I know I am worth the time he spent with me so if he expects more let him go and hang.
I now know that to want is to dream and there is power in dreams. We attract that which we are constantly thinking about. Wanting is not a bad thing, it gets you moving. Mistakes only make you better and the measure of a man is not what they do when they are standing but what they do after they fall down.
I must say; this came with growing up.
Written by: Pamela Aobo Enyonu