“I am glad it cannot happen twice, the fever of first love.
For it is a fever, and a burden, too, whatever the poets may say.”
According to the Urban dictionary, “the first love is the one that you first truly have feelings for. One person that you will never forget, their love will leave an imprint on your heart which will be there forever. Your first love will be one who will be the hardest to get over, the one that can still make you smile even when you’re having the worst day ever, and the one who after breaking you, you will still love them. Your first love never leaves”.
As I was growing older changing from the teenage girl that I was into the young woman that I am now, I was always excited and thrilled to meet that one person that would completely sweep me off my feet. Even though my heart was blank and I had never experienced “how falling in love” felt, I could imagine how indescribable it would be. To finally have a stranger get to know me and find me the most treasured gift in his life. I admit there was the fear of unfortunately falling for the wrong one as some may put it. But against all odds, I wanted to be loved and love someone in return.
Down the road, the time finally came. The feeling was even more wonderful than I ever imagined it could be.
“Love, like everything else in life, should be a discovery,
An adventure, and like most adventures, you don’t know you’re having one
Until you’re right in the middle of it.”
~ E.A. Bucchianeri, Brushstrokes of a Gadfly
It was the best feeling I had ever experienced. I always read books, novels, listened to lyrics of songs and wondered why people found falling in love such a heavenly experience. When my turn came, I finally understood it. Even though love is special at all ages, there appears to be something extra about your first love and why a first love is so special, it is a subject to debate.
May be it is simply because you have never experienced anything like it before, and therefore the love feels so intense. When falling in love for the second or third time, these feelings are more familiar and may therefore be easier to regulate, resulting in a less overwhelming experience.
An adventure you may call it, but it will be so hard to believe when two people that once felt that very intense, heavenly experience find themselves on the edge of falling, not in love this time, but out of love.
A married couple I know found themselves in this very terrible situation. He was her first love and he hoped she would be his last love. But due to his selfish needs and wants, he had turned from the one man that made her the most happiest to the one person that hurt her the most. She had become so unhappy so one day he told her “just think it over and write me a list, so we can figure out what we both deserve”.
As he thought about their children, the house and what he would tell their friends, he wondered what the bottom-line would be. He thought about a thousand other things that he would miss about her and tried to fight back the tears.
When she finally handed him the piece of paper where she had written down what she wanted, he was shocked to find;
Honesty, sincerity, tenderness and trust
A little less time for the rest of the world and more for the two of us
And then she told him calmly, “everything on that list in your hand is hidden somewhere in your heart”. He could not believe that after how unfair he had been to her, she still wanted to save their marriage.
Even though some people say that nothing lasts forever, the first person to imprint your heart is always hardest to get over; it’s just the way the world works.”