Stella Nyanzi should have finished roasting her clit as we speak. We hope to bring more firewood.
They say words are what make us who we are and we need to be careful what we say, but this seems not to apply to the motor mouthed phenomena of a woman in Stella.
Stella took to Facebook for the better part of January to assure her followers and the whole world how she would put her clitoris atop a charcoal stove and set her female parts ablaze and use the burnt pieces to paint the Uganda Flag black incase President Museveni won but it’s been four days since the win and we are ready to help her paint, but we don’t see any action to that effect.
Stella Nyanzi also promised to pluck out her uterus plus ovaries, pull out the fallopian tubes, make an expensive necklace and sell it online to the lowest bidder; to pluck out her brain and throw it in a papyrus kikapu and take them to parliament ceiling if Museveni is announced a winner for the next five years. So we hope by now there is a very good looking blue necklace somewhere with her tubes as the string that connects her ovaries (the beads perhaps). We need to know if this has been done and which hospital has carried out this act of patriotism.
She also promised to get a hoe and dig out her nipples if the electoral commission announces Museveni as the Ugandan leader again, so by now we expect that beneath her Kitenge bra, her breasts are devoid of the sharp nipples she always boasts about.
However we would be unfair if we didn’t recognize her art in writing and her perfect use of figures of speech. She was writing about politics, a topic many youth in Uganda find very boring and she spiced it with her satirical approach of sex and sex organs which sure can capture the attention of the same age group.
Many writers, poets, visual artists did not come out to use their talents to bring out the message of change like she did in this post;
“On Sundays I always shave smooth my mons pubis! You have not shaved your pubic hair for thirty long years, you dirty old woman! Museveni and the NRM have become a stinking thick forest of overgrown pubic hair crawling with lice and crabs in your executive. To be healthy, you need a clean shave, Uganda. Take the sharp razor blade of your ballot paper, Ugandans, and shave out the overgrown hairs of the incumbent regime that are blocking and clogging your vital adult organs. Shave out the dirty pubic hair by voting for Kizza Besigye”.
We are still hoping she will fulfill all her promises one by one and we will help in any way we can. We hope she doesn’t become like the man she hates with every fiber of her being. The man who said the biggest problem Africa has is the presidents that do not leave power in 1986. It seems like 30 years later, he might just need to look in the mirror.