It’s been a minute since I last penned my thoughts, but I figured I would share some quick ways men can help their spouses get that Orgasm.
Most of us women never climax but are shy to tell our partners that they well, ”Just did not hit it right.” Some of my male friends have also wondered what they have failed to do right to help their significant other get an orgasm.
Many men believe that one goal of lovemaking is to “give” women earth-shattering orgasms. But orgasm is something no one “gives.” Orgasms are like laugher. Comedians might be funny, but they don’t “make” us laugh. We release laughter from deep within ourselves when conditions feel right. Rather than “giving” women orgasms, men should focus on what allows women to have them.
There are many different strategies on how to make a girl orgasm. I believe this step by step process shared by the Psycology Today will help both parties attain the common goal seeing as both are happiest when great sexual pleasure is achieved.
The easiest way to make her orgasm is to slow down, take your time, and create tension. You need to take your time building a fire within the girl and she’ll start becoming more and more aroused.
Girls absolutely hate being touched sexually without first being warmed up a bit. Put in your time kissing and softly caressing her.
A slow approach works best because the girl begins to imagine what is to come next. A woman’s thoughts are powerful things. Once her imagination gets going, she’ll stay in her own fantasy land, and your work in reality will be much easier.
Extended sensual warm-up time helps women have orgasms.. When making love, do everything at half speed. Sex therapists recommend at least 30 minutes of kissing, cuddling, and whole-body sensual caressing before reaching between her legs.
If you are trying to make her orgasm by fingering her, the best thing to do is start by alternating soft caresses and hard grabs of her inner thigh. Never go directly for the vagina. Slowly inch your way towards the main goal.
Play with her underwear and stroke her vagina only momentarily before returning your attention to other areas. By the time you’re getting ready to penetrate her, she’ll be begging you for it.
The same rules apply for going down on a woman. Start by licking her inner thigh (not like a dog) sexually. Don’t go immediately for clitoris because this is the payoff area. Start by tonguing her vagina and creeping closer and closer to the clitoris.
By this point she’ll probably start pushing her pelvis into your face. She wants you go after the clitoris. Give it a little bit of time though. You really want to build it up.
Start softly stroking her clitoris with your tongue. Go slow in the beginning. As she gets more and more in to it, and more and more wet, then you can begin to work faster with your tongue. Keep pressure on the clitoris and work in an up/down fashion. You can swirl occasionally, but the up/down technique is the best.
Remember the key to making a girl orgasm is to always remain calm and work slowly. Sexual tension is created by slow, deliberate, movements. If you rush it, the woman’s mind has no time to imagine the pleasure awaiting her. You will have blown it before you even got started.
Forget What You See In Adult Movies:
In the adult movies, women always seem to have orgasms during intercourse. That’s much more fantasy than reality. In real intercourse, only about one-quarter of women are consistently orgasmic during intercourse.
Most women really need clitoral caresses from a hand, tongue, or vibrator. Unless she specifically requests intense touch, caress her clitoris very gently. It contains as many touch-sensitive nerves as the head of the penis, but they’re packed into an organ only about one-tenth the size. As a result, even gentle caresses may feel too intense for many women.
Discuss this. If she doesn’t enjoy direct clitoral touch, caress around her clitoris.
Touch The Right Places
(2) Touch her all over, not just those places. From the scalp to the soles of the feet, every square inch of the body is a sensual playground, but too many men focus on just a few corners and forget the rest. Touch her everywhere, all over, every square inch.
Think of sex as whole-body massage that eventually includes the genitals. Whole-body massage produces deep relaxation, which helps women (and men) have orgasms. Massage her gently from head to toe. Try massage lotion (available at bath and body shops). Some non-genital spots that can feel surprisingly erotic include: the scalp, ears, face, neck, feet, and the backs of the knees.
Break Out Of Routines
Ever notice how sex feels more arousing in let’s say hotels, camping sites- *those of us who have been to Ssese Islands can attest to that*? That’s because hotel sex is non-routine.
So try something different—anything. Make love in a new location, in a different way, at a different time, or with a different ambiance, for example, candle light, music, and sex toys.
Beforehand, try bathing or showering together, or treat yourselves to professional massages.
Always remember, you don’t “give” her orgasms. In a loving relationship, the man’s job is to create an erotic context that’s comfortable, relaxed, and arousing enough so the woman can let herself go enough to climax.