Dating isn’t a new experience; it’s the same experience, over and over and over again. No matter how many dates you go on, no matter how different the restaurants are or the person sitting across from you is, it’s still always the same thing, isn’t it? It still ends the same way, no matter how good the conversation was or how many times you slept together. No matter how different the factors were, it still always ends with that blank phone screen.
Albert Einstein defined insanity as “doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” If you ask me, there can’t be anything more insane than dating. There is nothing more tedious, exhausting and mentally draining as trying to do the same thing with yet another person and experiencing the same result. There’s nothing that will drive you crazier than thinking this person, this time and this go around will be different, only to end up with the same pit in your stomach and the same awkward ending.
There’s nothing like one more bad date to send you over the edge. Every fight is the same, but with different words. Every argument is always over texting and always ends with you checking your phone every two seconds for a message that will never come. It’s the same fight over a version of the same truth. It’s the same exasperation and disappointment that ends with the exact same tears into the same drink at the bar with your same girlfriends.
Every person is the same, just a different name. It feels like you’re dating the same person, only this one has a different smile, different tattoos and a different name. He has the same effect on you, however, the same ability to make you wonder what you saw in him in the first place. He has the same boring banter and the same disregard for yours. Every interaction is inorganic, but you keep swiping right.
You’re trying to fight a machine that was built for one task: to crush your dating soul. Every deal breaker is the same, but you keep accepting it. The more red flags you see, the more you try and convince yourself you’re color blind.You always go into a relationship saying you want something different, but always end up looking for the same thing.You say you want a mature guy this time, only you’re dating another boy who lives at home and considers “Transformers” to be his favorite movie.
Every relationship is a brand new start, until you mess it up. The start is always new and refreshing, giving you hope that this time will be different. Even if all is going well for a while, at some point, you will screw it up. You will get mad about nothing, and you will get drunk and say something you can’t take back. You will hook up with your ex, or you will bring him up way too much. You will self-sabotage yourself again because if you don’t, no one else will.
Every guy is the one, until he’s no one. The most frustrating part about dating is the belief that you’ve found the one. It’s believing you’re with someone who will be part of your world forever only to watch, yet again, another stranger walk out of your life. It’s that moment, over and over again, where you can’t believe how delusional you really were.
Every drunk confession is the same, but you continue drinking. It doesn’t matter how many relationships you ruin and how many dates you waste, you’ll drink until you’ve pushed everything away except the bottle. It’s like watching your life on repeat — drink, mess up, drink again. You drink to numb the pain, only to create another wound.
Every text is the same, until you’re not getting one. Every emoji. Every “hey, what’s up?” Every “send me a pic.” It all seems so hopeful until there aren’t 50 texts a day, but 10, then none. It always seems like he’s going to be the person you’ll text until you’re out of words — then he’s the one refusing to give you one more. He doesn’t just leave you with a black screen, but that gut-wrenching feeling that it’s ending just like every other time.
Every time is the same, just a different story. Every date, every failed relationship, every wrong impression always feels the same, only what you tell your friends is always a different story. It’s always a new tale, a new anecdote or a new guy to avoid. It’s another warning tale, cautionary advice and reason to just give up.