When emancipation of the girl child was launched, no one thought of launching a specie that would marry and love the emancipated girl child since the boy child wasn’t touched. And that is the dilemma most women find themselves in today.
When a woman is educated, gets a job and all is going well for herself by Ugandan standards; a plush car in her names, an apartment in Nalya Estates, a seven digit salary in her bank account monthly, do men these days find her someone they can just choose to court?
We are in a generation where everything is unique. In the times of our mothers, they stayed at home and looked after the young ones as they waited for their husbands to come home with a polythene bag containing bread and butter. But now, not only was the polythene banned but Nursery schools also began charging school fees that is twice the tuition at the University .This left the men in need of an extra source of income to make ends meet. Besides, the women were as educated as the men if not more than them in some families.
As all this was going on, of course some women were ‘beautiful but unlucky’. Some because of their own making but others because fate handed them the fist straight in the face. Rich women in Uganda seem to be in a dilemma of sorts. A man will look at a lady driving a car he only dreams of, and this only pushes a few confident men to her. When a woman is driving, she reduces half of all the potential men that would approach her. This is because men naturally want to be the ones looked up to, not under. They want to be the ones in the driver’s seat, and not the co-driver’s seat.
Talking to Andrew a Telecommunication engineer, he said: “It’s just not right for me to date or marry a richer woman. I don’t feel comfortable with the whole arrangement. If I can’t provide her needs to her then that means I will just be her body warmer if not Sex machine. She will drop me easily when bored. Besides, I will lose all respect a man deserves”.
Kenneth Bukenya , a Dstv Agent had this to say : “Yes I can date and marry a richer woman but on conditions. She must be submissive in all ways. I must totally be the one wearing the pants instead of her thinking she now will be the one ‘peeing while standing’. And I must be the one to control the finances. I am not one who marries for money but for love. You know in marriage, the vows are for richer and for poorer so I would look at the bigger picture. People take those vows as jokes but I think they are the gist of marriage. To me marriage is deeper than just money. She may be rich now but not tomorrow. I would totally marry her”.
According to online sources, a study was conducted and broken into two parts. 105 men were first read a hypothetical scenario involving a woman who either outperformed or under performed them in a Maths or English course and then made to imagine them as a romantic partner.
The men ranked a woman who outscored them as a more desirable partner, with the study stating that “Men formed favorable impressions and showed greater interest in women who displayed more (versus less) intelligence than themselves.”
However, in the second part of the study; when men were asked if they would date such a woman in real life showed that the men got cold feet. “Men faced in this real life scenario distanced themselves more from her, tended to rate her as less attractive, and showed less desire to exchange contact information or plan a date with her”.
There are many powerful and married women however in Uganda like Winnie Byanyima, wife to the FDC party former presidential candidate. About her marriage with Kizza Besigye, she said “Besigye is not scared of women who are already established”.
But one wonders how many men hold unto this thought!