Singlehood is not a curse, purgatory neither is it sin.
Just as marriage is a gift, the season of singlehood is a gift. It may not be a long season or an eternal season but nevertheless, it is a gift meant to be enjoyed.
In this day and age, any single will tell you that after they’ve finished their university, some probably looking for work and others who are lucky enough to have jobs how frequently they are asked for when they’re to get married? Whether they are normal? Why they are still without partners? List is endless.
I beg to throw a different perspective about this stage in life.
One may be single because they’ve just come of a relationship or have never been in one better still waiting for what they consider their better match to come along. So how can one make the most of this time before they get involved in committal relationships?
- Embrace it.
With the internet and social media platforms nowdays, the temptation to think you are the only one who is “alone” is high.
From updates like “hanging with bae”, to tweets like ‘I have the best girl in the world, xoxo” one can be tempted to make rushy decisions and end up in a relationship which they would have not. Just because you are single doesn’t mean the world is ending, it’s a stage same as how a crawling child may wish to run before their time.
Living in denial and having assumed relationships will only worsen the urge. You can choose to be happy while you wait for your match or rush into unnecessary relationships for the sake of keeping face.
This is especially for those that may not have related before.
What do you want in life? What are your plans of getting or achieving it? Where do you see yourself in the future?
What’s your purpose in life? These questions are necessary for you to know where you see yourself, if you have no direction you will only be a burden to your partner when they come.
Once you’ve embraced this season in your life, it’s easier to make life choices as individual and help you become a whole being before you meet someone else.
- Discover Yourself.
One big lie that most soaps, movies and novels tell is how there’s always a perfect ending to everything.
There’s a general assumption that when you meet your partner then life will begin.
Life starts now while you wait!
Use this time to get to know yourself more, what you like, what you stand for, how you can add value to yourself.
I’ve seen many singles with a list of what they would want their partner to be, this is good however since relationships are not one sided ask yourself, what are you bringing on board?
Would you date you if you were someone else? Would you be pleased if you were to settle down with who you are today?
This will help you work on yourself not just in preps for a partner but for growth and maturity.
- Interact and cultivate lasting friendships
There’s a saying that the best investment one can ever make is in people. Who do you hang with? What’s your crowd like? Are you making healthy friendships and inputs in people around you?
Most marrieds advice that the best basis for marriage is friendship, not that you should only associate for just selfish gain but hey, you just might never know who you love.
Also meet new people, go out, and don’t be too tied to your cocoon. Partners are not delivered by DHL nor ordered for at Hello Foods. Socialize and you never know your mate might be just a friendship away.
- Discern your convictions and trust God’s timing.
What would you rather have a trail of failed relationships and an endless list of exes or to wait for what’s yours?
Life continues even in singlehood, pray and trust God knows the desires of your heart. In addition be realistic. Don’t wait for perfection for people are can never be all perfect, you just choose what you can bare and purpose to live happily with it
- Feelings will come!
There’s this myth that once you are single, you won’t crush on or feel attracted to anyone.
News flash!! You will have plenty of those. However, not every time that you get these in-love feelings are you meant to act on them.
Some people get too desperate and make hasty decisions only to realize a month later they were only infatuated or lusting on the other party leaving heartbreaks and complications along the way.
Know what you want, crushes rarely last long.
There’s also a tendency of being “too available” I’ve seen many cases where as long as you reek desperation, the other party may be too kind and run or may take advantage of this and leave you regretting.
Be clear with your intentions and goals. If you are waiting, do just that not kissing every frog that comes your way. And by the way, crushing I’m told never stops even when you are married, however learning to handle such now will save you a lot once you settle down
- Lastly invest in your passions, go study, do what you’ve always wanted.
Not that singlehood should spell irresponsibility. When marriage and settling down comes into the equation,there’s a shift in a lot of things.
The new level of responsibility will require accountability, thinking beyond yourself and your desires do yourself a favor and start investing in these virtues now.
Contrary to popular beliefs, some habits can be learnt now for example budgeting and saving are things that one should start cultivating while single, accountability and investment, basics of home making and chores.
Knowledge about these will ease the transition into relationship and marriage. If you’re single right now, make the most of it for marriage is too precious and beautiful to be rushed into haphazardly.