Meet Tom,he’s relatively rich,has a stable job,commands attention and respect.
Ideally,he can get any girl he wants,whenever and however he does but there’s a lil’ problem.
You see Tom has just been dumped by his girlfriend after 8 months of what seemed to be a blossoming relationship,reason being he just couldn’t stop sulking.
Funny right?
Jasmine,Tom’s ex says that this started as a small issue that has overtime badly affected their relationship and she wants out She adds on that every time they have a misunderstanding, a fight or anything close,Tom will shut her out and go quiet for weeks.
The blame game has never helped if both parties don’t seek solutions but would rather stay stuck in the “I’am right,you are wrong” puddle.
He won’t discuss anything nor try to work on a way out but will still insist on “punishing” her for her deeds.No amount of begging and pleading will calm Tom down until he deems it fit to start talking.
As if that isn’t unbearable enough,he will neither apologize but would want to resume right where they stopped before the fight.
Moral of the story,many men undervalue the strength of proper communication in a relationship.They often shun talking about stuff because,oh well that’s a woman’s thing.
Speaking out your heart and mind doesn’t make you any less of a man
Some will even get emotionally abusive and claim their partner is being “dramatic”. they would rather shut down,sulk and worsen what is already hurting than clear things up.
What causes this?
Unresolved self esteem issues,Depression,work stress,lack of enough sleep,undealt-with pain from past relationships,poor communication skills can be some of the causes of this syndrome.
So where am i heading with this? No matter how “dramatic” she seems,most times all she needs is a listening ear,an understanding heart and a man willing to fight and do all he can to keep the relationship going.
Heaping things up will only brew them for worse,Pandora boxes have never been the nicest things to open.Learn to deal with issues as they unfold.
Speaking out your heart and mind doesn’t make you any less of a man,it however shows that you love and respect what you have enough to want to do better.
The blame game has never helped if both parties don’t seek solutions but would rather stay stuck in the “I’am right,you are wrong” puddle.
For the ladies;
Give him time some space to unwind whatever maybe the issue,encourage but don’t nag him into talking.Once you’re talking,let him know that you’re there to help not as emotional punching bag.
Surprise him with your loving when he least expects it.let him know that you are also affected whenever he’s not alright.
Gauge and be sensitive,sometimes it’s okay to postpone the “talk” until the time is conducive.
In-case he’s the hot tempered type,when you realize he’s having those moments,it’s okay to walk away and let him calm down.Sometimes not even your talking and comforting works when his temper has flared.This said please don’t get trapped in-case he turns physically violent!
Lastly,when the above fail please seek professional help.
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