We are all faced with break-ups at certain times in our lives. The Baganda say “omulamu tawoneeka.”
This literally means that you can not avoid a person who is still alive from showing up. Bad things happen to us for a reason and one lesson you should never learn the hard way is settling for less.
Breaking up means you deserve better than what you had. They say what you have can be taken away from you, but what you are, can never be take away from you. It is possible that your ex was just a step to your next level. You kiss a frog before you meet the princess. Life is just too short to be held back by your past.
You have to fight for a happy you. How long will you wait for someone to admit they made a mistake? God can take away what you had and gives you what you never thought of having. Your past should not define you.
As part of the break-up discuss the boundaries and how to handle children if you had them. If you still share finances, find away to evenly share.
Start with writing down twenty great things you like about the break-up and reason for the break-up. The trick here is playing the blame game. Never think about your contribution in the matter.
It is assign you have esteem issues. Some people believe in rumours so much that your side of the story does not count.
Breaking up in this article does not mean a couple that has not been talking for just two days. Moving on is a difficult thing for many to handle.
The longer you were together, the harder it is to forget someone. Soul ties are things we need to learn to deal with not only with past relationships and sex. Sometimes this also this is true with jobs. You find that people still call you yet you left that workplace.
Do some clean up? Start the exercise of making sure your ex does not remain fresh in your mind. Start destroying things that brought you together or have a connection to them. Put down photos that may start giving you the thoughts.
Their photos in your laptop must also go. Ask them to pick their personal belongings so you close that chapter from your life mentally. Ensure you keep a distance from your ex. Change all the locks at home. Some people are very violent.
Do not just hold a public discussion with everyone bout the break-up. Let those that need to know that you are not comfortable with the topic. Break all communication channels with your ex. Start with deleting their phone numbers and blocking them on your social media sites. Your online accounts must not have their pictures.
Take drastic measures and practice self control. If you cannot handle resistance to call them, come up with creative ways to stop it.
You can make up your mind that all the money you were spending on airtime to call will be on buying new clothes. It is one way of remaining positive irrespective of what is before you.
Move fast to get a replacement of your ex. Soon people pose the worst question. Who is that lucky person in your life? Make sure your ex notices that you have already replaced them.
[related_posts]If you find coping with the break-up is stressful, get a relationship mentor you trust to help. Do not keep a healthy relationship with your ex.
Act and show them that they are not needed in your life anymore. You have to get real with love. Healing from a heart break involves tough love.
Ivan N Baliboola
PR and Organisation diagnosis specialist.
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